This sort of treatment is not confined to intimate relationships. I think it can start in the home. The pattern is set by the type of adults who should not be having children in the first place.

Very often, the entire family - siblings included - are in on the act and what often happens is that all the venom, malice and invalidation is directed against one or two of the children.

I barely knew what 'gaslighting' was until I looked it up on the internet, but I can see the patterns; the diversionary tactics, the heaping of blame and scorn, the abject denial (due to a total and utter lack of empathy and introspection on their part), of any wrong-doing.

Thing is, when you're growing up with it, you tend to trip into the fallacy of thinking it is the norm and that this is just how people are.

One refinement I've noticed is when someone brackets their abuse around a performative display of physical affection, which diverts people's attention away from what is really being done.

The only way to deal with it is to block them on social media, change your phone number and consign all their inbound email to the junk folder.

Recrimination and calling it out is just to exhausting and energy-intensive.