Interesting essay on a difficult topic. I often think - in my case - of hypothetical reunion, even though the establishment is long gone and everyone dispersed. There was very little even in terms of desultory or half-hearted attempts to stay in touch with anyone from that place. Living in England / UK means that they’re not so hot on Reunions as it just isn’t a major part of our culture.

I think that they are really for the benefit of other people, they do it to mark out life stages, to compare themselves to their erstwhile peers and to generally take stock of their lives.

I’m probably a similar age to you and I grew up during the epoch you describe, where even being thought of as ‘gay’ was about as near-taboo as you could possibly get. Being trans was so off the radar (apart from portrayals in movies like Psycho), that it was incomprehensible to most.

Like you, I suspect that I had some kind of neuro-divergent attributes, but at that time, trad-con psychotherapy factored everything as being centred around early years trauma and unruly behaviour by the child.

I sort of am out as being transgender, but as is comparable to your experience .... and then the silence ensued ..., so to speak. I was even treated to denial by siblings who think they know me because we happen to share the same mother and possibly same father.

I think that you captured pretty much everything there is to be said about such a situation. Supposed resolution of narrative arcs (which a school reunion only ever is), is purely for the benefit of others. I was also struck by how you were able to convey the utter and absolute insincerity of the gawkers and the idle curiosity seekers.

Thanks for such an interesting article.